I Love being a part of this family. Oct 2005
Reflections
October 12, 2005
Associations: Have you ever played the word association game—Psychriatrists use it for different purposes—just think of what comes to mind when you say a word? Well, I played it with myself and this is what came out. DON’T try to analyze. I’ll do a spouses version later.
Markelle: “Way to go. Look how much money you made working at Albertson’s this year!”
Melinda: “Now just think; if one apple costs ten cents, how much would six apples cost?”
Melanie: “What did you do to the Chevette?”
Markham: “The lizards will always be there. Come and try skiing!”
Myla: “The skating season is over now; remind me next year.”
Marianne: “You seriously want to wear my old coat, stained, full of holes and twenty years old!”
Michael: “Put a towel around you; you’re going to shiver to death.”
Molly: “You want to go fishing?”
I can’t believe how special and what a blessing it is to be part of this family. What a contrast to my own childhood experience. You might say I’m “sibling challenged.” This is not a disguised plea for you all to have eight kids, but I’m sure if you did, you’d love every minute of it from now through eternity. Look at the children you have (or will have). Who would you leave out?
Which Shall it Be?
"WHICH SHALL IT BE? Which shall it be?"
I look'd at John-John lookd at me
(Dear, patient John, who loves me yet
As well as though my locks were jet);
And when I found that I must speak,
My voice seem'd strangely low and weak:
'Tell me again what Robert said."
And then I, listening, bent my head.
This is his letter: 'I will give
A house and land while you shall live,
If, in return, from out your seven,
One child to me for aye is given."
I look'd at John's old garments worn,
I thought of all that John had borne
Of poverty and work and care,
Which I, though willing, could not share;
I thought of seven mouths to feed,
Of seven little children's need,
And then of this. 'Come, John," said I,
'We'll choose among them as they lie
Asleep;" so, walking hand in hand,
Dear John and I survey'd our band.
First to the cradle lightly stepp'd,
Where the new nameless baby slept.
"Shall it be Baby?" whispered John.
I took his hand, and hurried on
To Lily's crib. Her sleeping grasp
Held her old doll within its clasp;
Her dark curls lay like gold alight,
A glory 'gainst the pillow white.
Softly her father stoop'd to lay
His rough hand down in loving way,
When dream or whisper made her stir,
Then huskily said John, "Not her, not her!'
We stopp'd beside the trundle bed,
And one long ray of lamplight shcd
Athwart the boyish faces there,
In sleep so pitiful and fair;
I saw on Jamie's rough, red cheek
A tear undried. Ere John could speak,
"He's but a baby, too," said I,
And kiss'd him as we hurried by.
Pale, patient Robbie's angel face
Still in his sleep bore suffering's trace.
"No, for a thousand crowns, not himl'
We whisper'd, while our eyes were dim.
Poor Dick! bad Dick! our wayward son,
Turbulent, reckless, idle one-
Could he be spared? Nay; He who gave
Bids us befriend him to his grave;
Only a mother's heart can be
Patient enough for such as he;
"And so," said John, "I would not dare
To send him from her bedside prayer.'
Then stole we softly up above
And knelt by Mary, child of love.
"Perhaps for her 'twould better be,"
I said to John. Quite silently
He lifted up a curl astray
Across her cheek in wilful way,
And shook his bead: 'Nay, love; not thee,'
The while my heart beat audibly.
Only one more, our eldest lad,
Trusty and truthful, good and glad-
So like his father. "No, John, no-
I cannot, will not, let him go."
And so we wrote, in courteous way,
We could not give one child away-,
And afterward toil lighter seemd,
Thinking of that of which we dream'd,
Happy in truth that not one face
We missd from its accustomed place;
'Thankful to work for all the seven,
Trusting the rest to One in heaven.
Here are some relevant poems and quotes. I hope they make you think, ponder, laugh and cry.
Choices
I make my own choices everyday.
No one else controls what I do or say.
Good choices - bad choices - it's up to me.
I choose to decide what my life will be.
When my choices are wrong, when things go bad,
I can yell, get angry, hit, or be sad.
I can blame my neighbors or my brother,
Or point at myself, not someone other.
I can make excuses; say you're not fair.
I cannot tell the truth; say I don't care.
Or I can do the right thing; just be nice.
Learn so I won't make the same mistake twice.
I make my own choices every day.
I know I control what I do and say.
I will make good choices and you will see,
For now I'll take responsibility.
--- Copyright © 1998 Robert McDaniel
• December 22, 2000
" Children are the reflection of their teacher.
Everybody can see your reflection."
--- Copyright © 2000 Keri Zimmerman
• December 20, 2000
" Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do
Are in harmony."
--- Mahatma Gandhi --- Submitted by Molly Callaghan --- Pennsylvania
December 8, 2000
" Teaching kids to count is fine,
But teaching them what counts is best."
--- Bob Talbert
• November 22, 2000
" You are never where you want to be,
But always where you planned on being."
--- Copyright © 2000 Brett Strothers
No man on his death bed ever looked up into the eyes of his family and friends and said, "I wish I'd spent more time at the office"
"One of life's greatest mysteries is how the boy who wasn't good enough to marry your daughter can be the father of the smartest grandchild in the world."
"If you look deeply into the palm of your hand, you will see your parents and all generations of your ancestors. All of them are alive in this moment. Each is present in your body. You are the continuation of each of these people."
"Where does the family start? It starts with a young man falling in love with a girl - no superior alternative has yet been found"
"There is no doubt that it is around the family and the home that all the greatest virtues, the most dominating virtues of human society, are created, strengthened and maintained"
"Most of what we object to as misconduct in children is a natural rebellion against the intrusion of an unimaginative adult despotism in their lives"
"A father is someone who carries pictures in his wallet where his money used to be"
"After all, what is a pedestrian? He is a man who has two cars-one being driven by his wife, the other by one of his children."
"The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother."
"You don't really understand human nature unless you know why a child on a merry-go-round will wave at his parents every time around - and why his parents will always wave back." (This one brought a tear to my eye)
"I cannot think of any need in childhood as strong as the need for a father's protection."
"Every father should remember that one day his son will follow his example instead of his advice"
"The only rock I know that stays steady, the only institution I know that works, is the family."
"No matter what you've done for yourself or for humanity, if you can't look back on having given love and attention to your own family, what have you really accomplished?"
"A happy family is but an earlier heaven."
George Bernard Shaw
"Children are not our property, and they are not ours to control any more that we were our parents' property or theirs to control."
Richard Bach
"We never know the love of our parents for us till we have become parents."
Henry Ward Beecher
"The great gift of family life is to be intimately acquainted with people you might never even introduce yourself to, had life not done it for you"
Anonymous
"Sister is probably the most competitive relationship within the family, but once the sisters are grown, it becomes the strongest relationship."
Margaret Mead
"My wife and I have five children; the reason we have five children is because we do not want six"
Bill Cosby quotes
"Smile at each other, smile at your wife, smile at your husband, smile at your children, smile at each other -- it doesn't matter who it is -- and that will help you to grow up in greater love for each other."
Mother Teresa
"The family you come from isn't as important as the family you're going to have"
Ring Lardner
"There is nothing more thrilling in this world, I think, than having a child that is yours, and yet is mysteriously a stranger"
Agatha Christie
"Children will not remember you for the material things you provided but for the feeling that you cherished them."
Richard L. Evans
"A child enters your home and makes so much noise for twenty years that you can hardly stand it: then departs leaving the house so silent that you think you will go mad"
John Andrew
"Children are the living messages we send to a time we will not see."
John W. Whitehead
"When you put faith, hope and love together, you can raise positive kids in a negative world."
Zig Ziglar
"Children learn to smile from their parents."
Shinichi Suzuki
"Children aren't happy without something to ignore, And that's what parents were created for"
Ogden Nash
"What we desire our children to become, we must endeavor to be before them"
Andrew Combe
"It's funny that those things your kids did that got on your nerves seem so cute when your grandchildren do them"
Anonymous
"The important thing is not so much that every child should be taught, as that every child should be given the wish to learn."
John Lubbock
"The best inheritance a parent can give to his children is a few minutes of their time each day."
M. Grundler
"Humor helps us to think out of the box. The average child laughs about 400 times per day, the average adult laughs only 15 times per day. What happened to the other 385 laughs?"
Anonymous
"Children really brighten up a household - they never turn the lights off"
Ralph Bus
"Our children are not going to be just "our children"-they are going to be other people's husbands and wives and the parents of our grandchildren."
Dr. Mary S. Calderone
"You have a wonderful child. Then, when he's 13, gremlins carry him away and leave in his place a stranger who gives you not a moment's peace." "You have to hang in there, because two or three years later, the gremlins will return your child, and he will be wonderful again."
Jill Eikenberry
"Children in a family are like flowers in a bouquet: there's always one determined to face in an opposite direction from the way the arranger desires"
Marcelene Cox
"Better a snotty child than his nose wip'd off"
George Herbert
Love,
Mel
October 12, 2005
Associations: Have you ever played the word association game—Psychriatrists use it for different purposes—just think of what comes to mind when you say a word? Well, I played it with myself and this is what came out. DON’T try to analyze. I’ll do a spouses version later.
Markelle: “Way to go. Look how much money you made working at Albertson’s this year!”
Melinda: “Now just think; if one apple costs ten cents, how much would six apples cost?”
Melanie: “What did you do to the Chevette?”
Markham: “The lizards will always be there. Come and try skiing!”
Myla: “The skating season is over now; remind me next year.”
Marianne: “You seriously want to wear my old coat, stained, full of holes and twenty years old!”
Michael: “Put a towel around you; you’re going to shiver to death.”
Molly: “You want to go fishing?”
I can’t believe how special and what a blessing it is to be part of this family. What a contrast to my own childhood experience. You might say I’m “sibling challenged.” This is not a disguised plea for you all to have eight kids, but I’m sure if you did, you’d love every minute of it from now through eternity. Look at the children you have (or will have). Who would you leave out?
Which Shall it Be?
"WHICH SHALL IT BE? Which shall it be?"
I look'd at John-John lookd at me
(Dear, patient John, who loves me yet
As well as though my locks were jet);
And when I found that I must speak,
My voice seem'd strangely low and weak:
'Tell me again what Robert said."
And then I, listening, bent my head.
This is his letter: 'I will give
A house and land while you shall live,
If, in return, from out your seven,
One child to me for aye is given."
I look'd at John's old garments worn,
I thought of all that John had borne
Of poverty and work and care,
Which I, though willing, could not share;
I thought of seven mouths to feed,
Of seven little children's need,
And then of this. 'Come, John," said I,
'We'll choose among them as they lie
Asleep;" so, walking hand in hand,
Dear John and I survey'd our band.
First to the cradle lightly stepp'd,
Where the new nameless baby slept.
"Shall it be Baby?" whispered John.
I took his hand, and hurried on
To Lily's crib. Her sleeping grasp
Held her old doll within its clasp;
Her dark curls lay like gold alight,
A glory 'gainst the pillow white.
Softly her father stoop'd to lay
His rough hand down in loving way,
When dream or whisper made her stir,
Then huskily said John, "Not her, not her!'
We stopp'd beside the trundle bed,
And one long ray of lamplight shcd
Athwart the boyish faces there,
In sleep so pitiful and fair;
I saw on Jamie's rough, red cheek
A tear undried. Ere John could speak,
"He's but a baby, too," said I,
And kiss'd him as we hurried by.
Pale, patient Robbie's angel face
Still in his sleep bore suffering's trace.
"No, for a thousand crowns, not himl'
We whisper'd, while our eyes were dim.
Poor Dick! bad Dick! our wayward son,
Turbulent, reckless, idle one-
Could he be spared? Nay; He who gave
Bids us befriend him to his grave;
Only a mother's heart can be
Patient enough for such as he;
"And so," said John, "I would not dare
To send him from her bedside prayer.'
Then stole we softly up above
And knelt by Mary, child of love.
"Perhaps for her 'twould better be,"
I said to John. Quite silently
He lifted up a curl astray
Across her cheek in wilful way,
And shook his bead: 'Nay, love; not thee,'
The while my heart beat audibly.
Only one more, our eldest lad,
Trusty and truthful, good and glad-
So like his father. "No, John, no-
I cannot, will not, let him go."
And so we wrote, in courteous way,
We could not give one child away-,
And afterward toil lighter seemd,
Thinking of that of which we dream'd,
Happy in truth that not one face
We missd from its accustomed place;
'Thankful to work for all the seven,
Trusting the rest to One in heaven.
Here are some relevant poems and quotes. I hope they make you think, ponder, laugh and cry.
Choices
I make my own choices everyday.
No one else controls what I do or say.
Good choices - bad choices - it's up to me.
I choose to decide what my life will be.
When my choices are wrong, when things go bad,
I can yell, get angry, hit, or be sad.
I can blame my neighbors or my brother,
Or point at myself, not someone other.
I can make excuses; say you're not fair.
I cannot tell the truth; say I don't care.
Or I can do the right thing; just be nice.
Learn so I won't make the same mistake twice.
I make my own choices every day.
I know I control what I do and say.
I will make good choices and you will see,
For now I'll take responsibility.
--- Copyright © 1998 Robert McDaniel
• December 22, 2000
" Children are the reflection of their teacher.
Everybody can see your reflection."
--- Copyright © 2000 Keri Zimmerman
• December 20, 2000
" Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do
Are in harmony."
--- Mahatma Gandhi --- Submitted by Molly Callaghan --- Pennsylvania
December 8, 2000
" Teaching kids to count is fine,
But teaching them what counts is best."
--- Bob Talbert
• November 22, 2000
" You are never where you want to be,
But always where you planned on being."
--- Copyright © 2000 Brett Strothers
No man on his death bed ever looked up into the eyes of his family and friends and said, "I wish I'd spent more time at the office"
"One of life's greatest mysteries is how the boy who wasn't good enough to marry your daughter can be the father of the smartest grandchild in the world."
"If you look deeply into the palm of your hand, you will see your parents and all generations of your ancestors. All of them are alive in this moment. Each is present in your body. You are the continuation of each of these people."
"Where does the family start? It starts with a young man falling in love with a girl - no superior alternative has yet been found"
"There is no doubt that it is around the family and the home that all the greatest virtues, the most dominating virtues of human society, are created, strengthened and maintained"
"Most of what we object to as misconduct in children is a natural rebellion against the intrusion of an unimaginative adult despotism in their lives"
"A father is someone who carries pictures in his wallet where his money used to be"
"After all, what is a pedestrian? He is a man who has two cars-one being driven by his wife, the other by one of his children."
"The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother."
"You don't really understand human nature unless you know why a child on a merry-go-round will wave at his parents every time around - and why his parents will always wave back." (This one brought a tear to my eye)
"I cannot think of any need in childhood as strong as the need for a father's protection."
"Every father should remember that one day his son will follow his example instead of his advice"
"The only rock I know that stays steady, the only institution I know that works, is the family."
"No matter what you've done for yourself or for humanity, if you can't look back on having given love and attention to your own family, what have you really accomplished?"
"A happy family is but an earlier heaven."
George Bernard Shaw
"Children are not our property, and they are not ours to control any more that we were our parents' property or theirs to control."
Richard Bach
"We never know the love of our parents for us till we have become parents."
Henry Ward Beecher
"The great gift of family life is to be intimately acquainted with people you might never even introduce yourself to, had life not done it for you"
Anonymous
"Sister is probably the most competitive relationship within the family, but once the sisters are grown, it becomes the strongest relationship."
Margaret Mead
"My wife and I have five children; the reason we have five children is because we do not want six"
Bill Cosby quotes
"Smile at each other, smile at your wife, smile at your husband, smile at your children, smile at each other -- it doesn't matter who it is -- and that will help you to grow up in greater love for each other."
Mother Teresa
"The family you come from isn't as important as the family you're going to have"
Ring Lardner
"There is nothing more thrilling in this world, I think, than having a child that is yours, and yet is mysteriously a stranger"
Agatha Christie
"Children will not remember you for the material things you provided but for the feeling that you cherished them."
Richard L. Evans
"A child enters your home and makes so much noise for twenty years that you can hardly stand it: then departs leaving the house so silent that you think you will go mad"
John Andrew
"Children are the living messages we send to a time we will not see."
John W. Whitehead
"When you put faith, hope and love together, you can raise positive kids in a negative world."
Zig Ziglar
"Children learn to smile from their parents."
Shinichi Suzuki
"Children aren't happy without something to ignore, And that's what parents were created for"
Ogden Nash
"What we desire our children to become, we must endeavor to be before them"
Andrew Combe
"It's funny that those things your kids did that got on your nerves seem so cute when your grandchildren do them"
Anonymous
"The important thing is not so much that every child should be taught, as that every child should be given the wish to learn."
John Lubbock
"The best inheritance a parent can give to his children is a few minutes of their time each day."
M. Grundler
"Humor helps us to think out of the box. The average child laughs about 400 times per day, the average adult laughs only 15 times per day. What happened to the other 385 laughs?"
Anonymous
"Children really brighten up a household - they never turn the lights off"
Ralph Bus
"Our children are not going to be just "our children"-they are going to be other people's husbands and wives and the parents of our grandchildren."
Dr. Mary S. Calderone
"You have a wonderful child. Then, when he's 13, gremlins carry him away and leave in his place a stranger who gives you not a moment's peace." "You have to hang in there, because two or three years later, the gremlins will return your child, and he will be wonderful again."
Jill Eikenberry
"Children in a family are like flowers in a bouquet: there's always one determined to face in an opposite direction from the way the arranger desires"
Marcelene Cox
"Better a snotty child than his nose wip'd off"
George Herbert
Love,
Mel
posted by Melvyn Bennett | 4:30 PM
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